Considering what I went through as a child, it's really no surprise that I didn't want children. After all, my parents fought tooth and nail, and day and night throughout my young life. Kids, and the extra bills they brought, were their two biggest burdens.

I just could not for the life of me imagine ever having children of my own. When friends would tell me they were expecting a baby, I'd always reply, 'on purpose?'.

Back in March of 2000, after returning from a seminar tour in Sydney, my life began to change. The wife informed me that 11 out of the 11 pregnancy tests she had purchased while running around town had come up positive. A baby was on the way.

As weeks turned into months, I continued struggling with the realization that I was going to be a father. Appreciating these feelings, she was beside herself with fear for our future family.

After seeing this, my wife asked a friend of mine, Scott Kelby, to share the joys of fatherhood with me. Scott was my first art director and is one of my best friends. Over the years, I have learned a great deal from him. At the time of this story, I was trying to repay some of that by teaching him how to kick box.

Every time we worked out we'd end our workout with a walk in order to cool down. During one of these walks he changed my entire set of beliefs on how it would be to raise children. He helped me understand how wonderful it could be to become a father.

My internal conversations were with the younger, adolescent portion of myself. My adolescent self had me convinced that kids would be a burden that would steal all of my time and money. Scott helped me realize the wonder that children could be. The day my son Alexander was born, and the day his younger brother Christopher was born, have been the best days of my life.

Deeply affected by the transformation he saw me going through, Scott ended up writing a book called, The Guy's Book For Guys Who Don't Want To Be Fathers.

Martial arts training and the mentoring of people such as Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins taught me that the external world was nothing but a reflection of my inner world, and therefore I could totally control the outer world by changing my inner world. Success was therefore my own responsibility alone, for the world at large could have no negative power over my success, except that which I chose to give it. Like they say, if it is to be, it is up to me. As you can tell, up until that talk with Scott, I thought I knew myself and my inner dialogue very well.

The conversations you have with yourself in your head are the conversations which pertain to your own life and experiences. Over time, these conversations form a tapestry of thought, which can determine your behavior, and therefore your actions.

A master motivator and teacher, John Graden is a personal and professional development expert who specializes in helping people to overcome internal and external obstacles to redefine their lives and fulfill their dreams. He is a popular speaker teaching his unique success principles and is the author of six books. http://www.JohnGraden.com